| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2006|10:27 pm] |
I had to remind myself of something very important today.
I really really liked someone a few years back but I didnt want to date this guy because he was a player, and I thought he could never be tamed. Now he's got a girlfriend. TAMED.
so i had to remind myself of the number one reason I used to convince myself I didnt like him...
PLAYERS ALWAYS PLAY.
and just like me.
the REAL wild can NEVER be tamed.
Play-On Playa! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2006|10:12 pm] |
I met someone.
And I think I like him a lot. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 25th, 2006|11:21 pm] |
This wouldnt have happened if I didnt do the RIGHT THING and ADMITTED what happened...
yet now, I get ALL THE BLAME.
shouldve kept my mouth shut, but I was hurt too and I thought she should know....
he wanted me to lie to her.
but i didnt think that was right.
If you guys wanna blame me for all of this because its easier for you... then whatever. Its between you and God in the end. Ive done the right thing and not faught back. Ive explained and ive taken what uve given.
BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
im finally going to come out and say STOP IT. its childish and you need to get over it. she has a boyfriend, and he fucks soooo many girls its not even funny. so I dont even know what the deal is anymore. Theyve moved on, u should too.
So for all those people who think they are top notch people. stop and think about what ur doing. ruining someones life when you KNOW its not their fault. You continue to be friends with the person who actually cheated... because its easier to watch me suffer than lose popularity with ur "friends".... good job. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|10:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Audition - You've Made Us Conscious | ] |
I wish Hunter would have lost himself along with his phone... cuz he calls... and I cant stay mad. It REALLY pisses me off. lol
So. lots and lots going on. Brandi and I are moving onto Wayne State campus in the fall. It'll be easier for both of us not having to leave at 6:30am to make it to ur 8am class. cuz that will suck some balls. I love her face. She is my favorite face on the planet! She has to put up with a lot of bullshit from drama-face mike. But things will smooth over soon.
Work is work. It's feet. NAAASTY. lol Im supposed to be there right now, but I woke up STILL sick. but im gunna go in at 12ish so i can at least make SOME money.
Then its off to cheerleading. thats right. I admitted it Bran. CHEERLEADING. I look like a spastic goofball right now, but ill get better. Im sooooo close to having my standing back handspring. cuz im that friggin sweet!! lol
I saw Chase last week before he left for Nashville again. He DEFINITELY got cuter. yum. and Ryan will be home a little over a week. so him and I def are getting Pi's Thai food and playing some putt putt golf. Im planning a trip out to Virginia to kick some NAVY boy's ass... jkjk. oh man, I miss my boys!!!
All this warm weather reminds me of last summer. awesome nights, stupid mistakes, boys with crotch rockets, and girls with drama. oh man!! this summer bran is gunna be 21... CANT WAIT!!
Summer needs to hurry up!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2006|07:05 pm] |
topic: I hate drama :end topic
thats all. lol |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 3rd, 2006|11:14 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The Fray - Over My Head | ] |
April 3, 2006
The Moon and My Heart
The waves rush in. I feel it. There’s so much it hurts. I feel it the most when you look in my eyes. I feel it the most when you hold me in your arms. I feel it the most when you put your hands on my face when we kiss. The ocean subsides. It hurts. I have to walk away as if nothing is there. As if I feel nothing at all. It’s for the best we say. You’re not ready. I’m damaged. It’ll never work. But then you kiss me. The tide rises. And it’s as if me and you are the only two people on the planet. As if no one could understand what we have between us. The ocean surges. You lips pull away from mine, and I have to walk away.
My feelings are adrift. Clutching to every memory I can, grasping to every word, holding onto every hug, and lingering on every kiss. Soon it’ll be you walking away. Feeling nothing. Knowing nothing. My heart is shattered and my lips are sealed. And I’ll feel it. The tide pulls me under and once again I’m losing you to the sea.
Jessica C. Allen |
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| stole this from Brandi, who stole it from Nikki... but I loved it also |
[Apr. 3rd, 2006|10:58 am] |
This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and neither are the guys they're interested in.. This is for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper or touch because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe, just maybe this time he'll have understood.. This is a homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and ugg boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't even deserve their attention.. This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom but won't because it's easier to sleep with some whore than foster a relationship.. This is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches - all of which were either true for the moment or never real to begin with.. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and their heart and their bed only to discover he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down.. This is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that he doesn't want you, it's that he doesn't want anyone.. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes shattered by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place.. This is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, standing a little too near, or whispering a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup.. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship, it was he didn't want you.. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or the night his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had, YOU.. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen and how the sun didn't seem to shine the same the next morning.. This is for the "I really like you so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation then he ever intended.. This is for never realizing that just like you chose your friends, you chose the ones which eventually make you cry yourself to sleep.. This is for the girls who have been used and abused and endured what he was giving because at least it was something.. This is for the stupidity of the nights we believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd ever wanted.. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned to never expect anything anymore and for the girls who don't think that they deserve more because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.. This is for the hugs you've received from your girls, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and truly worthy of a great guy.. This is for the heartaches and the headaches, the laughter and the tears, how you love him and hate him and wish he would just die even though you know, you would die without him.. This one, is for us girls...
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 1st, 2006|01:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | rihanna - SOS | ] |
welp. I just got back from seeing Hunter.
His mom hugged me... eek! lol
and then.... we took a nap. lol
cant wait to see him again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 26th, 2006|10:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nsync - gone | ] |
so I couldnt fall asleep at all last night til about 5am. THEE ex called me last night at 2:30, and after that I was too upset to get back to sleep. I hate it when he acts... well... like himself. I try very hard to put everything behind me and just TALK to him, but he just isnt having it. I think he likes to have yearly check-ups with me just to piss me off for a while.
I should really be sleeping right now. But my dad busted in my room like that house was on fire looking for towels. And if u know my dad, he cant walk into a room without bumping into at least 5 things. So after that episode I just couldnt get back to sleep. So I think Im gunna get up and shower so I can get back to studying for the entire fricken day.... not very exciting.
So Hunter comes home in 6 days. Im so incredibly nervous and excited all at the same time. He has called me everyday for the past almost 3 weeks. And its going really well. He likes to tell me he misses me a lot, and he's done a LOT of apologizing... since I tore into him and told him what he left me here with all the drama to deal with. He owes me so big. lol
So everything kinda went to crap with a "friend". I just dont understand the way he thinks. He liked me, and I didnt want to be with him, so when he started dating one of our mutual friends, he decides to tell her that she cant trust me and stuff... which is totally a big fat lie. Cuz out of alllllll the people, ive never even kissed him. and the kid spent 2 months crashing in my bed. sooooo this is all rediculous and he's a big fat jerk and I really dont need his drama. Cuz ever since he came into my life, thats all its been... a whole lotta drama. Just sucks that he had to cause shit between one of my good friends and I.
Im gunna go take that shower I was talking about. Waiting for the boy to call... he was on duty from 7am yesterday until 7am this morning. so I didnt get to talk to him all day... and I miss his sexy voice :p
<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2006|02:06 am] |
remember when I said I would never fall for him again....
yeah...
I LIED.
2 weeks until he's home :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2006|07:58 pm] |
so i found out why everyone was acting so weird. and its the STUPIDEST REASON EVER!!!! geez. i dont like him, i havent liked him, i really dont give a @#$%. lol. so i dont even understand why u think id be mad. I love u guys more than anything ur like my siblings.
mike. stop being a drama starter. u take everything out of context and i think u purposely try to make me mad. and its not fair. so stop it. please. im asking u nicely
ok. whew. that feels better. now everyone can stop being huge j-bagels. |
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| ....and then my phone rings. |
[Mar. 14th, 2006|02:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cascada - everytime we touch | ] |
holy crap! thats all i can say about the last few days. MAJOR blast from the past has been calling me for the past few days. hehe. its kinda weird and nice at the same time.
things are still a mess in the friends dept. bran and i are ok, i cant stay mad at her for the life of me. but carime and mike... somethings going on cuz neither are acting very normal. so who the eff knows. not me. dont care too much either right now. i love them all to pieces but im not gunna bend over backwards anymore. im tired of that. I opened up my house to them for almost 3 months. and its funny how friends change when u dont have your own place anymore. makes me think REALLY REALLY hard.
lots of things to do today. its only day off during spring break. and ive got a million things to take care of that i normally dont have time for. i closed out one of my many bank accounts today. and i think the first thing im gunna do is buy a slurpee...lol cuz its a really nice day and i really want one. lol
other than that...life is life! its still going and i love it!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2006|10:15 am] |
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you know what REALLY sucks. Is when you dont get into your dream school.... and the only person that has the brain to say anything is ur mother. If people didnt think it was a big deal to me, then ur obviously blinder than a bat. Why ive been so uneasy about making plans after 6 months in the future... wasnt for my health. its because i was planning on going away. buuuuut I guess that really doesnt matter to anyone except me and my mom. and thats FINE with me.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|08:49 pm] |
so this weekend was a BLAST. my family threw me a suprise 21st b-day. Soooo it took me all weekend to recover. I hung out with Ryan on Sunday. And here's the sucky part. Ive never given this kid 2 thoughts in 5 years. and all of a sudden I can't get him off my brain. It's driving me absolutely BONKERS. I just dont see WHY NOW. Why now when's he goes to school so far away. Its a punishment I think. I did something terribly wrong and this is my slap in the face. STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID. But at least I get to say I got to kiss those ammmazzzing lips. mmm :)
OK. Enough of the personal life... like you guys wanna hear it anyways right?? lol
Spring Break is next week. I plan on sleeping a lot. and doing a lot of uhhh nothing except going to work. Unless its warm, then im gunna spend everyday outside!!
side note: im still thinking about him: end note
I havent been this messed up over a guy since the whole Jonathan episode. Where I thought I liked someone and then he turned psycho... im sure we all remember. lol I guess that why im expectim Ryan to just freak out or hurt my feelings or something. My gaurd is WAY UP. Just WAITING for it. It seems to be routine in my life.
ok i really should write this paper. its due tomorrow and i have 1 paragraph.
*angel* |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 4th, 2006|12:13 pm] |
my godparents came over last night DRUNK and spent the night haha. Needless to say they are planning my 21st b-day weekend. so there will be a family/underage party at their place. and then the 21 and uppers of the family are taking me out on sunday. Im DEFINITELY taking the 27th off of school. ill be half dead. They took me out to The Original Pancake house in B-ham, which was very yummy, but it has some memories attached to it id rather not think about.
Today is def the Superbowl, and im gunna go down to my parents, do laundry, homework and attempt to watch the game. GO STEELERS!
p.s. im moving again. no clue whats going on tho cuz the roomie's car broke and i havent seen her in a few days. I had to call and check to make sure she was alive. prayer goes out for a winning lottery ticket for that girl...
Things are not looking very good for uncle and my bro's stepdad. im gunna need a lot of help and support when that all goes down. im not one to ask for help, but with this.... ill admit it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2006|09:55 am] |
Life has been pretty bad-ass lately. Ive got great friends and I wouldnt trade them for the world. School is going pretty well so far. Still have all those problems in the family, but its nothing I cant deal with. Brandi and I have been university searching for the past few weeks. Looking for WARM places to go to school. Im liking University of Tennessee right now... who knows tho.
So its gunna be my 21st b-day soon. So I expect quite the party somewhere. gotta find a place that has 18+ so all my friends can come too.
No boy problems as of right now. I dont even have an interest in someone. And thats kinda weird for me. oh well.
Time to go get ready for my 9 hours of class today!! :)
_Angel_ |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2006|10:59 pm] |
Lately, a lot has been going on. My uncle underwent brain surgery, and still has lung cancer and it seems to be spreading. My other uncle went into surgery this morning. My brothers step-dad is still in a coma... It's getting much harder to keep a smile on my face lately. Im starting to realize that at any moment I could lose someone that I love very very much. And its come down to this. I read that if there's someone that has made a difference in your life...tell them. so here it goes.....
There are some people in my life that will come and go. And some that will remain with me forever. There are some that will never know the difference they have made in my life, and one that should be thanked everyday. I know it might not be that obvious how MUCH I appreciate you and how lost I would be without you, but Brandi, there hasnt been a day I havent been utterly thankful to have you in my life. In fact, I cant remember a day I havent seen or talked you in the past 15 years. If there is one person I am truly blessed and honored to be your friend.
It's me and you until the end. UofM here we come! ;) if not, here comes the biggest party house ever. lol |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|10:33 pm] |
if i have one pet peeve.. it would be when people ASSUME shit. dont sit there and make assumptions about what im doing or what im thinking.... cuz more likely than not, YOURE WRONG.
thank you and have a splendid day |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|10:45 am] |
so the decision I made a long time ago to never let the guy have the
upperhand and let them know I liked them....has finally back-fired.
I think I may have just let one of the greatest guys ive ever known, slip right through my fingers.
the boy-drama never ends for me.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2006|01:41 pm] |
anonymous comments are a persons way of hiding behind their fake ass lives. im totally upfront and TRUTHFUL about everything. u have something to say... leave ur name and number, and we'll talk about it.
immature people make me giggle.
love to hate it girls. dont be jealous.
_angel_ |
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